From Bill Cosby’s Routine About Noah’s Ark
God: NOAH!
Noah: Is someone calling me?
God: It’s the Lord, Noah.
Noah: Right…Where are you? What do you want? I’ve been good.
God: I want you to built an ark.
Noah: Right… What’s an ark?
God: Get some wood and build it 300 cubits by 80 cubits by 40 cubits.
Noah: Right… What’s a cubit?
God: Well, never mind. Don’t worry about that right now. After you build the ark, I want you to go out into the world and collect all the animals of the world, two by two, male and female, and put them into the ark.
Noah: Right… Who is this really? How come you want me to do all these weird things?
God: I’m going to destroy the world.
Noah: Right… Am I on Candid Camera? How are you gonna do it?
God: I’m gonna make it rain for a thousand days and drown all the people right out.
Noah: Right… Listen, do this and you’ll save water, let it rain for forty days and forty nights and wait for the sewers to back up.
God: Right…
Narrator: So Noah began to build the ark. Of course his neighbors were not too happy about it. Can you imagine leaving for the office at 7 AM and seeing an ark?
Neighbor: What is this thing?
Noah: It’s an ark.
Neighbor, Uh huh, well, you want to get it out of my driveway? I’ve gotta get to work. Hey, listen, what’s this thing for, anyway?
Noah: I can’t tell you, ha ha ha,