THE BLUE-NOSED BOOBY
Call: “Tsk-Tsk-Tsk-Nooo!”
Color: White plumage with an aquamarine beak
Nesting Habitat: Upper Suburbia
Range: Maine to Florida
Migrating Pattern:
Spring- Flies south over New York City without alighting
Fall- Flies north over New York City without alighting
Population Status: Thriving after a great surge in the 2010s
THE SCARLET-FACED SHRIKE
Call: “Killery! Hillary! Stoohp! Steal!”
Nesting Habitat: Red States
Range: Stay close to nests except for raids on New York City and Washington DC during election years
Population Status: Threatened, after Bluebird of Sanity took over white nesting box
THE WHITE-HEADED KLUX
Call: “Nooo! Nooo! Never!”
Nesting Habitat: Washington DC
Range: Restricted to brief flights to and from the Supreme Court
Population Status: Entrenched